Building authority with DR Laura Sicola (Podcast)
Building authority in business is important to develop real results in your chosen niche.
I originally found Dr Laura Sicola her after searching the phrase “How to say your name?” on Google and came across her YouTube video which has around 4 million views.
She suggested my last name be said slightly like a S”Cooler” but I am not convinced personally about saying it like this.
Schooler like a School with an er is how I say my name which makes it memorable. It is more difficult than one may think and on the first name you want the pitch to go up and at the end a slight pause or stretch out the last sound as it gets people ready for the next word.
Building authority is not easy but as Laura explains aligning your speech, body language and movements really helps
Dr Laura- on the last name get the pitch to fall a little, it was amazing to speak with her as she explained the muscle memory that is still being used from when you learned how to say your name as a child, retraining the muscles then becomes the new normal especially in how to say your name.
Typically I picked the most important thing that she teaches in class and one to one, understanding how to say your name properly is such a great feeling as you don’t need to explain yourself as much and people understand what you are saying immediately.
I spent ages studying her video and practising my name, as painful as it was I think that I have almost got it right.
Starting off comfortable and natural is step one.
In your head perhaps a moment may be three years and you can feel like an idiot and only you feel this way, but when you are presenting and your adrenaline kicks in 2-3 seconds can be an eternity.
Martin agreed that you can be mistaken when you are speaking and a moment can feel awkward and an eternity.
Martin Q: Spent some time as an English teacher and moved there, he learnt Spanish whilst teaching English, muscle memory – do you have techniques that you use to get people to change their muscle memory.
Dr. Laura A: It just depends what you are trying to say, but of course it is more cognitive neurologically impacted once you get past a certain age, for a lot of people what is interesting they can’t hear what they say out of their mouths.
Generally playing back a recording to them is really great to pick apart their speech and what aspects that go into it, the recording will let it come to light.
Martin Q: Moving the mouth when speaking a foreign language, saying butter or butter, so slight changes in the way we say things can be challenging. When people are struggling to speak English helping them to get it right, repeating things 30 times, 10 times slowly, 10 times really fast and then 10 times normal speed, committing it more to muscle memory.
What tips do you have for this?
Dr. Laura : I spent many years teaching foreign languages and it is a different animal, certainly it would help clients to roll their Rs in Spanish or to get them to repeat it if wrong it could be counterproductive.
Nathaniel : So you are focused around building authority and credibility by using speech and I wonder how you do that?
Dr. Laura A: People need to start with what do you want your brand to be?
What qualities do I want them to think about me?
How do I communicate?
Then breakdown what it is that I am saying and whether it reinforces what I am pitching, do I look confident? What is it that looks confident? Conflicting
Where people are in alignment with their body language, word choice and vocal delivery and that is where credibility begins and that is the foundation of your brand.
Nathaniel: Shaking your head may turn off the prospect or the new boss, new partner or VC fund manager.
Dr. Laura- A recent client had trouble with the big clients accepting him as the lead on projects, his shoulders where shrugging and when he was talking the was giving the wrong body language so giving the opposite message, he wanted to give the right message that he was the right man to handle their account.
Nathaniel: Confidence in the product that you are selling could be misconstrued, you can be saying the wrong things and behaving in the wrong way. This could be from your subconscious mind that is giving off the wrong signals. Dr.
Laura- Potentially you could can make the wrong impression by not looking like you believe in the product, so the prospect will see that you don’t believe in the product.
Tail is wagging the dog, if it isn’t something you believe in then it is a different level of integrity or it could be just your subconscious so you need to have a good think about why you are selling it if you don’t believe in it.
Nathaniel- mentioning NLP timeline regression therapy and revisiting the disappointment of my Mum who was late when I was at school and I mentioned how things like this can stop you from success.
Dr. Laura- How did you know that this needed to be done?
Nathaniel- I had struggled with entrepreneurial ventures and needed to do something about it, it was a strange thing I must admit.
When doing this on myself I explain how I spent some time doing timeline regression therapy on my self. Transforming my own business life.
Do you have people that have problems like this?
Dr. Laura- Sometimes people have problems with how they approach conflict and give constructive feedback or run away from these difficult conversations and there problems in these areas generally do stem to their childhood and she uncovers these behavioural expectations when going through coaching.
When she has uncovered these things recognising these values ie not hurting peoples feelings and using this as a productive trait, helping people to understand conflict is not negative and is in fact a tool and can be used to strengthen relationships and put the conflict aside and make the relationships stronger and better.
Realising the distinction between coaching and therapy where success lies in the balance.
Nathaniel- So you are trying to help people to not have conflict?
Dr Laura- Yes but also some people are not explaining themselves properly to give negative feedback as they don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. Helping them to understand it is not black and white.
Having difficult conversations the right way can address the problems with the situation instead of making things personal, learning the tools to create the right outcomes is something that when done right is really beneficial.
I explained when Douglas one of my colleagues is blunt and how I liked the way he explained how he was blunt and didn’t have emotion within the business world and how I personally prefer it, you can still be empathetic and to the point!
Dr Laura- The words you use can be clear and objective or they can attack the person. She explains how being rude is subjective, ideally you want your brand to be not rude.
Nathaniel- Showing empathy is key when building your personal brand communications
When I mentioned my Dad was in business he would always say to people “we have a problem, what do you think we should do?”
Generally people give you the answer that you have already decided is the best way forward.
Martin – As you were saying not attacking anyone ever is the way to go
Dr Laura- Your father’s approach is great as people get a sense of ownership when they figure our the solution themselves…
Nathaniel- Have you got three tips that can help people get their message across without upsetting people.
Dr Laura- Alignment and remembering foundation of credibility in speech, right words vocally delivered correctly, with the right facial expressions and body language to tie it all together.
- With regards to the words, remember that diplomacy is your guide, you can be direct or you can be subtle and indirect in different ways, but there’s no need to be nasty about it; being clear is important but choose your words in a way that address the problem without attacking the person.
- With regards to the voice being mindful to how you sound, taking one of those difficult conversations and voice record yourself. How are you going to initiate the conversation? You will often hear lots of hesitation, when you listen you will notice that you are tripping all over the place. Keep it smooth, keep it even, choose your words and let them flow. In listening to yourself as yourself what does that person sound like, is that what you want the listener to perceive rehearse it until you are comfortable.
- On the visual part do it on video, watch what your face is doing, are you smiling and are your eyebrows furrowing, your expressions change the sound of the pitch of your voice, make sure everything is tied together and that is where your credibility is tied together.
Where to find Laura
Email or Skype her to do a breakthrough session or speaking.